A random comment I made on a news story about the whole Time Warner Cable/CBS fight was used in another column about the same thing. Woo woo.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Your understanding of human "rights" is FAIL!
I really don't know which group of fools I despise more... right wing uber conservative Jesus fucks or left wing progressive naive idiots.
Today, it's the idiots.
I've starting staying away from Facebook more and more because I'm tired of blocking content from Fucknut Tea Party Panic sites and Fucknut Progressive Liberal Whine sites. Most recently, it's the Mother-of-all dumbass left wing FB pages, "Being Liberal." If there was ever a more naive, head-in-the-clouds group of morons, I haven't run across it. These fucktards are your one stop shopping source for pro-government-give-us-shit-because-we-deserve-it-for-simply-existing ideology. Rich people are scum, unskilled morons should make buttloads of money, and everybody has a right to a happy ending.
The latest affront to intelligence by these Pollyanna Kool-Aid drinkers is that Healthcare is a "Human Right." This is tied to Obamacare, of course, because Obamacare is the most awesome piece of legislation ever passed by the US Government and it was done by Liberal Democrats who are way more awesome humans that Republicans because they believe that everybody is entitled to a long healthy life with plenty of money and a fucking unicorn to ride to Candyland.
Here's the thing about "rights"... if something relies on another human being to make it happen, then it isn't a "right." Rights can be taken away, but they cannot be given (otherwise, how is it a right?)
Healthcare is provided by other people. If you get sick, there isn't a magic cure that just pops into existence and makes you better. You, at best, have to go to the store to get some medicine that required many different people, some highly skilled with lots of education, to get that into your hands. And these people were not forced to provide this medication for you. These people were paid or compensated each step of the way.
Had these people not worked together, the medicine you needed would (presumably) not been available to you. Now expand on that idea. If there were no doctors and no hospitals and no pharmacies not even a witch doctor... who would provide your healthcare? Oh, wait... someone has to give that to you? Yeahhhhhh.... see... that's not a "right."
The Declaration of Independence lists "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" as unalienable rights... things that cannot be given and should not be taken away. Granted, "life" is technically given to you by your parents, but in this case, it refers to "somebody else killing you." And liberty... you are either free to do something or somebody takes that away, same with the whole "pursuit of happiness" thing.
Do you understand? DO YOU!?!??!?
Life isn't fair and you can't get everything you want, even if it's something that you think should be a basic requirement of life.
And just for the record, here are some other things that aren't human rights:
Fuck off.
Today, it's the idiots.
I've starting staying away from Facebook more and more because I'm tired of blocking content from Fucknut Tea Party Panic sites and Fucknut Progressive Liberal Whine sites. Most recently, it's the Mother-of-all dumbass left wing FB pages, "Being Liberal." If there was ever a more naive, head-in-the-clouds group of morons, I haven't run across it. These fucktards are your one stop shopping source for pro-government-give-us-shit-because-we-deserve-it-for-simply-existing ideology. Rich people are scum, unskilled morons should make buttloads of money, and everybody has a right to a happy ending.
The latest affront to intelligence by these Pollyanna Kool-Aid drinkers is that Healthcare is a "Human Right." This is tied to Obamacare, of course, because Obamacare is the most awesome piece of legislation ever passed by the US Government and it was done by Liberal Democrats who are way more awesome humans that Republicans because they believe that everybody is entitled to a long healthy life with plenty of money and a fucking unicorn to ride to Candyland.
Here's the thing about "rights"... if something relies on another human being to make it happen, then it isn't a "right." Rights can be taken away, but they cannot be given (otherwise, how is it a right?)
Healthcare is provided by other people. If you get sick, there isn't a magic cure that just pops into existence and makes you better. You, at best, have to go to the store to get some medicine that required many different people, some highly skilled with lots of education, to get that into your hands. And these people were not forced to provide this medication for you. These people were paid or compensated each step of the way.
Had these people not worked together, the medicine you needed would (presumably) not been available to you. Now expand on that idea. If there were no doctors and no hospitals and no pharmacies not even a witch doctor... who would provide your healthcare? Oh, wait... someone has to give that to you? Yeahhhhhh.... see... that's not a "right."
The Declaration of Independence lists "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" as unalienable rights... things that cannot be given and should not be taken away. Granted, "life" is technically given to you by your parents, but in this case, it refers to "somebody else killing you." And liberty... you are either free to do something or somebody takes that away, same with the whole "pursuit of happiness" thing.
Do you understand? DO YOU!?!??!?
Life isn't fair and you can't get everything you want, even if it's something that you think should be a basic requirement of life.
And just for the record, here are some other things that aren't human rights:
- a high paying job
- a house
- a vacation
- education
- a full stomach
- a pension
- unemployment benefits
- to be a dick to other people by telling them they can't do something because your religion says it's bad
Fuck off.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Why Black People need to shut the fuck up and stop defending Michael Vick
I'm gonna make this real simple.
Every time an American of dark skin pigmentation with ancestral ties to the African continent defends Michael Vick using the argument that "It was just dogs, not people. They aren't more important than people. They were his property he can do what he wants with 'em" they should be reminded of the history.
It wasn't that long ago that Americans of light skin pigmentation with ancestral ties to Europe argued in defense of slavery that "They're just negroes, not white folk. They aren't even fully human... more like animals. They are property and we can do with them as we wish."
Am I comparing slaves to dogs? No, dumbass. I'm comparing sentient creatures that can feel pain that were brutalized, tortured, and killed because some other asshole believed these creatures to be little more than property, like a table or a frying pan. Slaves felt physical and psychological pain due to their treatment by their "owners". Dogs feel physical and psychological pain due to their treatment by their "owners."
So, you pieces of shit, shut the fuck up. Or don't expect me to feel sorry for you because (maybe) some of your ancestors were slaves. Pain is pain and it doesn't matter if you have 2 legs or 4.
Every time an American of dark skin pigmentation with ancestral ties to the African continent defends Michael Vick using the argument that "It was just dogs, not people. They aren't more important than people. They were his property he can do what he wants with 'em" they should be reminded of the history.
It wasn't that long ago that Americans of light skin pigmentation with ancestral ties to Europe argued in defense of slavery that "They're just negroes, not white folk. They aren't even fully human... more like animals. They are property and we can do with them as we wish."
Am I comparing slaves to dogs? No, dumbass. I'm comparing sentient creatures that can feel pain that were brutalized, tortured, and killed because some other asshole believed these creatures to be little more than property, like a table or a frying pan. Slaves felt physical and psychological pain due to their treatment by their "owners". Dogs feel physical and psychological pain due to their treatment by their "owners."
So, you pieces of shit, shut the fuck up. Or don't expect me to feel sorry for you because (maybe) some of your ancestors were slaves. Pain is pain and it doesn't matter if you have 2 legs or 4.
Greg Abbott - Candidate for Governor of Texas
I don't really care much about Greg Abbott. I mean, he's a dipshit Republican in a state full of dipshit Republicans and we'll probably end up with a dipshit Republican governor because the Democrats are also dipshits in this state but outnumbered.
Anyway, all I want to say about Greg Abbott is that it is incorrect to say "Greg Abbott is running for governor of Texas." That's wrong.
See, Greg Abbott can't run. He's in a wheelchair.
So, the correct way to refer to Greg Abbott's candidacy is to say, "Greg Abbott is rolling for Governor of Texas." Let's get that straight. It's not polite to remind him of the things he can't do because his legs are just as useless as the logic and reasoning center in his brain.
Anyway, all I want to say about Greg Abbott is that it is incorrect to say "Greg Abbott is running for governor of Texas." That's wrong.
See, Greg Abbott can't run. He's in a wheelchair.
So, the correct way to refer to Greg Abbott's candidacy is to say, "Greg Abbott is rolling for Governor of Texas." Let's get that straight. It's not polite to remind him of the things he can't do because his legs are just as useless as the logic and reasoning center in his brain.
Monday, July 15, 2013
George Zimmerman is a punk.
He is. Deal with it.
A jury of his "peers" decided that based on the evidence presented in court that Zimmernator was "not guilty" of 1st or 2nd degree murder as well as manslaughter.
Except that he killed an unarmed teenager. That is not in question. That is not in doubt. At no time since the night of February 26, 2012 has the statement "George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin" been anything less than a fact.
Now, I really don't have a problem with him not being convicted for 1st or 2nd degree. Maybe he is guilty of it, maybe not, but there really isn't enough evidence to reach those conclusions. The audio is insufficient since nobody can even agree on who is who. Zimmerman is the only person (alive) that saw the event (or at least, nobody else came forward).
So no, I don't think that was a mistake. The system is supposed to protect people from unfair convictions and the state couldn't prove its case.
But then there is manslaughter.
That one gets tricky. Even the jury requested clarification on how that works. This is where I'm upset.
Now, the case could be made (and was, presumably) that it wasn't manslaughter and was truly self-defense. But I don't buy it. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman followed Martin around. Zimmerman had a gun. Zimmerman ignored direct orders to cease and desist. Zimmerman chose to confront Martin.
And then, after unclear events, George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin.
These are facts. There is no doubt that Zimmerman CHOSE to carry a weapon that he used to shoot and kill Trayvon. There is no doubt that Zimmerman CHOSE to ignore warnings given to him by police.
All Zimmerman had to do was wait in, or at least by, his vehicle until police arrived. That's it.
No, instead, he chose to act in a manner that in the best case scenario, caused a 17-year-old to attack him. He poked the bear under those circumstances.
Worst case, he confronted Martin in such a manner that Martin perhaps feared for his safety and attempted to stand his own ground.
Regardless of whether he poked the bear or outright punched the bear in the face, Zimmerman's unnecessary actions resulted in Martin's death. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin.
But the fucker won't be punished by the state for it. Because our court system, often held to be the "best in the world", is a game that savvy lawyers play. A system that increasingly becomes more complicated by added nuanced laws and redefinitions and unintended loopholes. A system created by humans who can't even agree on what actually constitutes fairness. Zimmerman had the extremely fortunate luck to fall into some nice fitting vague legal concepts that made it all but impossible to convict him of anything.
But the court system is not to blame. Nor are the idiotic laws written by idiotic politicians. And the inanimate objects like the gun and the hoodie... they are not at fault here.
There is one person to blame. Only one person. The person that killed Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman.
Like I said, Zimmerman is a punk. He's a wannabe cop with delusions of grandeur who was just looking for a chance to show what a badass he (thinks) he is. And he got it. Except that it went horribly wrong. Somehow, he got the shit kicked out of him by a scrawny teenager and then pulled out his gun and shot the same scrawny teenager. Punk.
And somehow, some folks make him into the victim. Fucking bullshit. He inserted himself into a situation where his actions were reckless and unwarranted. He carried around a gun because he wanted to play hero. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin because Zimmerman is a useless punk. He's no victim... Trayvon Martin is the victim.
By all accounts, Martin was minding his own business. There was nothing to indicate a crime or impending crime. Zimmerman has received far more leeway for why he killed Trayvon Martin than Martin received from Zimmerman for WALKING THROUGH A FUCKING APARTMENT COMPLEX.
Now, while Zimmerman won't be in prison, he'll still be punished. He has a target on his back. He now has to worry about, ironically, vigilante style justice. He should perhaps fear a scenario where he is confronted by someone, out of view of witnesses, with no one to corroborate, and is then killed in self-defense.
I mean, he has a history of carrying a gun and killing a person. If I saw him on the street and he looked at me, who is to say I don't feel threatened? Who is to say he didn't follow me into a secluded poorly lit alley with the intent on hurting or killing me because he thought I was suspicious? He has a history of carrying a gun. Made me nervous. He wouldn't leave me alone. I was scared. So I killed him... in self-defense.
Personally, I don't care what happens to the fucker at this point. As long as he stays away from me and mine.
But damn... he had better watch his back because there are a whole lot of people who DO care what happens to him.
Maybe he and Casey Anthony can start hanging out together in unknown locations.
He is. Deal with it.
A jury of his "peers" decided that based on the evidence presented in court that Zimmernator was "not guilty" of 1st or 2nd degree murder as well as manslaughter.
Except that he killed an unarmed teenager. That is not in question. That is not in doubt. At no time since the night of February 26, 2012 has the statement "George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin" been anything less than a fact.
Now, I really don't have a problem with him not being convicted for 1st or 2nd degree. Maybe he is guilty of it, maybe not, but there really isn't enough evidence to reach those conclusions. The audio is insufficient since nobody can even agree on who is who. Zimmerman is the only person (alive) that saw the event (or at least, nobody else came forward).
So no, I don't think that was a mistake. The system is supposed to protect people from unfair convictions and the state couldn't prove its case.
But then there is manslaughter.
That one gets tricky. Even the jury requested clarification on how that works. This is where I'm upset.
Now, the case could be made (and was, presumably) that it wasn't manslaughter and was truly self-defense. But I don't buy it. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman followed Martin around. Zimmerman had a gun. Zimmerman ignored direct orders to cease and desist. Zimmerman chose to confront Martin.
And then, after unclear events, George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin.
These are facts. There is no doubt that Zimmerman CHOSE to carry a weapon that he used to shoot and kill Trayvon. There is no doubt that Zimmerman CHOSE to ignore warnings given to him by police.
All Zimmerman had to do was wait in, or at least by, his vehicle until police arrived. That's it.
No, instead, he chose to act in a manner that in the best case scenario, caused a 17-year-old to attack him. He poked the bear under those circumstances.
Worst case, he confronted Martin in such a manner that Martin perhaps feared for his safety and attempted to stand his own ground.
Regardless of whether he poked the bear or outright punched the bear in the face, Zimmerman's unnecessary actions resulted in Martin's death. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin.
But the fucker won't be punished by the state for it. Because our court system, often held to be the "best in the world", is a game that savvy lawyers play. A system that increasingly becomes more complicated by added nuanced laws and redefinitions and unintended loopholes. A system created by humans who can't even agree on what actually constitutes fairness. Zimmerman had the extremely fortunate luck to fall into some nice fitting vague legal concepts that made it all but impossible to convict him of anything.
But the court system is not to blame. Nor are the idiotic laws written by idiotic politicians. And the inanimate objects like the gun and the hoodie... they are not at fault here.
There is one person to blame. Only one person. The person that killed Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman.
Like I said, Zimmerman is a punk. He's a wannabe cop with delusions of grandeur who was just looking for a chance to show what a badass he (thinks) he is. And he got it. Except that it went horribly wrong. Somehow, he got the shit kicked out of him by a scrawny teenager and then pulled out his gun and shot the same scrawny teenager. Punk.
And somehow, some folks make him into the victim. Fucking bullshit. He inserted himself into a situation where his actions were reckless and unwarranted. He carried around a gun because he wanted to play hero. George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin because Zimmerman is a useless punk. He's no victim... Trayvon Martin is the victim.
By all accounts, Martin was minding his own business. There was nothing to indicate a crime or impending crime. Zimmerman has received far more leeway for why he killed Trayvon Martin than Martin received from Zimmerman for WALKING THROUGH A FUCKING APARTMENT COMPLEX.
Now, while Zimmerman won't be in prison, he'll still be punished. He has a target on his back. He now has to worry about, ironically, vigilante style justice. He should perhaps fear a scenario where he is confronted by someone, out of view of witnesses, with no one to corroborate, and is then killed in self-defense.
I mean, he has a history of carrying a gun and killing a person. If I saw him on the street and he looked at me, who is to say I don't feel threatened? Who is to say he didn't follow me into a secluded poorly lit alley with the intent on hurting or killing me because he thought I was suspicious? He has a history of carrying a gun. Made me nervous. He wouldn't leave me alone. I was scared. So I killed him... in self-defense.
Personally, I don't care what happens to the fucker at this point. As long as he stays away from me and mine.
But damn... he had better watch his back because there are a whole lot of people who DO care what happens to him.
Maybe he and Casey Anthony can start hanging out together in unknown locations.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Guns and God and why I find both groups to be assholes
*Unfinished piece. Stupid short attention span*
Yesterday, 20 small children and 6 adults were killed because some unbelievable fucking asshole felt that the only way to make himself feel better/get his point across was to to end the lives of 26 other human beings who apparently had nothing to do with UFA's personal problems.
Now, in this country, there is virtually NOTHING that can possibly happen that won't start some pricks from injecting their political and/or religious beliefs into the situation. And some will even do immediately (like hours) after the event.
And Newton, Connecticut is no difference.
Initially, it was the gun control proponents that started getting in little jabs here and there. Although in all fairness, most were in the "we REALLY need to have a discussion about gun policy" camp, but the idea was basically the same: w3e need to ban some/most/all guns. This happens after every mass shooting in the United States, but usually doesn't really go anywhere. The major difference here was that most of the victims were kids around 5 and 6 years old. Now it's going to snowball.
I've already heard the yack about needing less guns and banning this and banning that and how we have more gun incidents that other places, blah blah, blah. I'm not going to go into a big statistical discussion because ultimately, when you compare social issues between countries, there really is no base to start from. Countries all have different foundations made up of different sizes and mixes of people that have differing concentrations of population and environmental surroundings. What works in Berlin doesn't necessarily worth in Beijing. Different people, different cultures, different histories, different attitudes, different philosophies, and different needs.
You can truthfully only talk about one country, i.e. one place subject to the same laws, because that's going to be the only place where differing opinions are remotely valid. I don't care what Mexico or Norway thinks or how they do things.
So, really, you can only talk about how Americans do things. But there's a huge catch there: see, the US is fairly unique in that due to its history as a "melting pot", the country itself is almost like its own little planet due to the extremes of population types. Californians have little in common with folks from Montana. Florida people have different needs and beliefs than people from Michigan. And this is the major problem when talking about any sort of law at a Federal level, which is what is meant when "gun control" is brought up.
Now, let me be very clear. I am conflicted in regards to gun control. On the one hand, the Libertarian in me wants the Feds to stay out of people's lives. On the other hand, I can see no reason why any private citizen, at this particular time, has a need to own an Uzi or AK-47.
Yesterday, 20 small children and 6 adults were killed because some unbelievable fucking asshole felt that the only way to make himself feel better/get his point across was to to end the lives of 26 other human beings who apparently had nothing to do with UFA's personal problems.
Now, in this country, there is virtually NOTHING that can possibly happen that won't start some pricks from injecting their political and/or religious beliefs into the situation. And some will even do immediately (like hours) after the event.
And Newton, Connecticut is no difference.
Initially, it was the gun control proponents that started getting in little jabs here and there. Although in all fairness, most were in the "we REALLY need to have a discussion about gun policy" camp, but the idea was basically the same: w3e need to ban some/most/all guns. This happens after every mass shooting in the United States, but usually doesn't really go anywhere. The major difference here was that most of the victims were kids around 5 and 6 years old. Now it's going to snowball.
I've already heard the yack about needing less guns and banning this and banning that and how we have more gun incidents that other places, blah blah, blah. I'm not going to go into a big statistical discussion because ultimately, when you compare social issues between countries, there really is no base to start from. Countries all have different foundations made up of different sizes and mixes of people that have differing concentrations of population and environmental surroundings. What works in Berlin doesn't necessarily worth in Beijing. Different people, different cultures, different histories, different attitudes, different philosophies, and different needs.
You can truthfully only talk about one country, i.e. one place subject to the same laws, because that's going to be the only place where differing opinions are remotely valid. I don't care what Mexico or Norway thinks or how they do things.
So, really, you can only talk about how Americans do things. But there's a huge catch there: see, the US is fairly unique in that due to its history as a "melting pot", the country itself is almost like its own little planet due to the extremes of population types. Californians have little in common with folks from Montana. Florida people have different needs and beliefs than people from Michigan. And this is the major problem when talking about any sort of law at a Federal level, which is what is meant when "gun control" is brought up.
Now, let me be very clear. I am conflicted in regards to gun control. On the one hand, the Libertarian in me wants the Feds to stay out of people's lives. On the other hand, I can see no reason why any private citizen, at this particular time, has a need to own an Uzi or AK-47.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Jesus is the Reason for Fuck You
Oh goody, it's December. And December in America means that retailers and Jesus Freaks ratchet up the noise... well, actually it just gets louder from November (and October) when the retailers start trying to convince us that buying shit is the only way to spend the holidays and all-the-time when the Jesus Freaks find something to bitch about.
Anyway, I pretty much hate Christmas. It's just phony. Commercialized, annoying, obnoxious and divisive. That's Xmas... oh fuck... I mean "CHRISTmas." I sure as hell don't want to get bitched at by some jackass who takes offense that I don't explicitly include the Greek title for some dead Jewish guy that may or may not have had superpowers. Never mind the fact that the letter "X" is essentially shorthand for "Christ". See, in the original Greek, X is the letter "Chi" which is the first letter in the word we know as "Christ." Thus, the letter X is really a symbol for "Christ" and for most people who aren't ignorant, touchy assholes, a perfectly acceptable abbreviation for "Christ." Hence, "Xmas."
So every time one of you fucknuts complains about "Xmas," you are showing how little you know about your own religion. Wait, an ignorant American theist that doesn't know history? Say it ain't so!
Second up is "Happy Holidays" which seems to cause explosive diarrhea for Jesus Freaks. That's the only thing I can figure since they seem to want to wipe out the saying. Truly, it must have some magical powers for it to incite such contempt by the faithful. But wait! The word "Holiday" is etymological evolution of "Holy Day" and by adding the "s" to make it plural, is an easy way to encompass a period of time in which there are several days of celebration of a religious nature. There are like 20+ "holidays" in December (and a few more if you count the season as going through Epiphany on January 6th, the ACTUAL 12th day of Christmas). Of course the major ones are typically Hanukkah, Christmas, and Yule/Solstice (Kwanzaa is a cultural event more than a religious one) and they are technically celebrated by three different faiths (although the secularized Christmas has crossover appeal and the Pagans are often pretty loose with the rules).
Lots of folks (primarily Team Jesus) get offended if you don't specifically recognize their religious holiday, which is stupid. It is. It's stupid. Grow up you fuckers. I'm not going to tailor my greetings based on remembering who does what. You get a "Happy Holidays" at best. If that offends you, then you get a "Fuck off, Asshole" which avoids the whole seasonal issue by replacing it with a universal undated expression of shut the hell up you fuckstick. You have to SHARE the month with other religious days, most of which PRE-DATE your fucking religion anyway.
Which brings us to the unbearably asinine "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" bullshit. This is the pinnacle of ignorant assholery by Christians. First off, a "season" is a loose subdivision of the annual calendar based on changes in daylight and weather (among other things). Seasons pre-date humans and are a response to the regular solar cycle and rotation of the Earth, which is caused by gravity. Jesus ain't got shit to do with it.
The season of importance here is the transition from Autumn to Winter upon the Winter Solstice around December 21st (Gregorian Calendar). That's when the daylight hours reach their shortest per day and it starts the hardcore cold (Northern Hemisphere at least) when stuff goes dormant and doesn't grow. Early peoples, who somehow managed to calculate these things despite not having calculators or Google, understood the effects the seasons had on their lives but weren't able to determine the reasons for the seasons (again... not fucking Jesus). So, they did what a lot of people did and created magical invisible beings who controlled such things. And since these beings must have had some essence of thinking, perhaps they could get in good with the beings by having parties for them. The Winter Solstice was kind of a big deal since a lot of folks weren't sure they'd survive the cold and the lack of fresh food so they decided to have big feasts in what was a similar philosophy to Blue Bell Ice Cream where they would eat all they could and then store what could be stored to live off of during the bleak months until Spring. (The Spring Equinox, another important Pagan celebration of new life and rebirth... weird how that seems similar to Easter.)
So, the "Pagans" (i.e. another Christian word they don't completely understand and think means "doesn't worship Jesus") had pretty much planted their flag on the late December "Holiday" calendar long before Jesus showed up.
Another group who had a Decembertime party before Jesus? Jesus' peeps, the Jews. Hanukkah started a good century and a half before Jesus hit the scene. Granted, it isn't really a HUGE deal in the Jewish culture (it's been blown out of proportion thanks to the insanity that is now Christmas), but it is still a religious based celebration around the Solstice (although the Solstice is unrelated).
Okay, so the whole Pagan thing relates to the Roman Saturnalia, itself a Pagan holiday that involved partying and gift-giving, which was all around mid to late December. And there is also the Germanic/Norse celebration of Yule which was a 12 day party. And then there is the already well-documented pagan ties and origins of things like the "Christmas" tree, mistletoe, and other of the fun aspects that are now a part of Christmas. Why? Because when the Church really started their roaming evangelist movement of converting those awful pagans into Christians they found that many of the pagans responded with: "You have one boring ass religion. Why the fuck would we want to give up the fun we have?" So the Church people began creatively figuring out ways to show the pagans that the stuff they believed was actually just Jesus and Company IN DISGUISE! So it was all cool. And we'll keep the parties if that's what it takes to get your asses under our thumbs.
Yes, the fun aspects of Christmas were all taken from other religions and non-Jesus cultures. As was the date. See, there is no significant evidence that Jesus was born on or near December 25th. In fact, most research indicates he was born in August or September. But, with the realization that something was needed to subjugate the Solstice Festivals, and nobody really knew any better anyway, December 25th was decided upon almost 300 years after the actual event.
But it isn't just the largely European Pagan festivals that had influence. There was also Mithras. Mithras was this god that had Hindu and/or Zoroastrian ties dating back more than a thousand years before Jesus. Mithra was born to save mankind, born of a virgin, linked with "sun" allegories, and was resurrected after death. Oh, and did I mention that his birthday WAS DECEMBER 25th?!!?!?! Yeah, Mithras was also a factor in the birthday of Jesus decision.
It should also be mentioned that Zoroastrianism had some significant influence on the Judeo-Christian belief systems. But that's a whole other tale. This is all about Jesus not being the fucking reason for shit.
So, let's sum up: Actual seasonal changes made early people take notice and do things differently for Winter months. Several cultures had celebrations/festivals/holy observances in mid to late December. These typically existed before said culture new of the existence of Jesus. Some of them had deities that were similar to the Jesus as he is now portrayed.
Jesus is not the reason for the celebratory season around the Winter Solstice. Jesus' ball lickers hijacked the season in order to get people pay attention to Jesus instead of the other deities they had before said ball licking assholes showed up.
In conclusion, THIS IS A FESTIVE SEASON OF VARIOUS HOLIDAYS THAT EXISTED BEFORE JESUS AND WOULD MOST LIKELY STILL EXIST IN SOME FORM WHETHER LORD DOOFUS SHOWED UP OR NOT.
Jesus is NOT the "Reason for the Season" and I will shove a goddamned candy cane into the ear of any fucking asshole that says this in my presence.
And no, I didn't site my sources, but I did some cursory fucking research which is still way more research than the fucking tool that came up with "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" did.
Anyway, I pretty much hate Christmas. It's just phony. Commercialized, annoying, obnoxious and divisive. That's Xmas... oh fuck... I mean "CHRISTmas." I sure as hell don't want to get bitched at by some jackass who takes offense that I don't explicitly include the Greek title for some dead Jewish guy that may or may not have had superpowers. Never mind the fact that the letter "X" is essentially shorthand for "Christ". See, in the original Greek, X is the letter "Chi" which is the first letter in the word we know as "Christ." Thus, the letter X is really a symbol for "Christ" and for most people who aren't ignorant, touchy assholes, a perfectly acceptable abbreviation for "Christ." Hence, "Xmas."
So every time one of you fucknuts complains about "Xmas," you are showing how little you know about your own religion. Wait, an ignorant American theist that doesn't know history? Say it ain't so!
Second up is "Happy Holidays" which seems to cause explosive diarrhea for Jesus Freaks. That's the only thing I can figure since they seem to want to wipe out the saying. Truly, it must have some magical powers for it to incite such contempt by the faithful. But wait! The word "Holiday" is etymological evolution of "Holy Day" and by adding the "s" to make it plural, is an easy way to encompass a period of time in which there are several days of celebration of a religious nature. There are like 20+ "holidays" in December (and a few more if you count the season as going through Epiphany on January 6th, the ACTUAL 12th day of Christmas). Of course the major ones are typically Hanukkah, Christmas, and Yule/Solstice (Kwanzaa is a cultural event more than a religious one) and they are technically celebrated by three different faiths (although the secularized Christmas has crossover appeal and the Pagans are often pretty loose with the rules).
Lots of folks (primarily Team Jesus) get offended if you don't specifically recognize their religious holiday, which is stupid. It is. It's stupid. Grow up you fuckers. I'm not going to tailor my greetings based on remembering who does what. You get a "Happy Holidays" at best. If that offends you, then you get a "Fuck off, Asshole" which avoids the whole seasonal issue by replacing it with a universal undated expression of shut the hell up you fuckstick. You have to SHARE the month with other religious days, most of which PRE-DATE your fucking religion anyway.
Which brings us to the unbearably asinine "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" bullshit. This is the pinnacle of ignorant assholery by Christians. First off, a "season" is a loose subdivision of the annual calendar based on changes in daylight and weather (among other things). Seasons pre-date humans and are a response to the regular solar cycle and rotation of the Earth, which is caused by gravity. Jesus ain't got shit to do with it.
The season of importance here is the transition from Autumn to Winter upon the Winter Solstice around December 21st (Gregorian Calendar). That's when the daylight hours reach their shortest per day and it starts the hardcore cold (Northern Hemisphere at least) when stuff goes dormant and doesn't grow. Early peoples, who somehow managed to calculate these things despite not having calculators or Google, understood the effects the seasons had on their lives but weren't able to determine the reasons for the seasons (again... not fucking Jesus). So, they did what a lot of people did and created magical invisible beings who controlled such things. And since these beings must have had some essence of thinking, perhaps they could get in good with the beings by having parties for them. The Winter Solstice was kind of a big deal since a lot of folks weren't sure they'd survive the cold and the lack of fresh food so they decided to have big feasts in what was a similar philosophy to Blue Bell Ice Cream where they would eat all they could and then store what could be stored to live off of during the bleak months until Spring. (The Spring Equinox, another important Pagan celebration of new life and rebirth... weird how that seems similar to Easter.)
So, the "Pagans" (i.e. another Christian word they don't completely understand and think means "doesn't worship Jesus") had pretty much planted their flag on the late December "Holiday" calendar long before Jesus showed up.
Another group who had a Decembertime party before Jesus? Jesus' peeps, the Jews. Hanukkah started a good century and a half before Jesus hit the scene. Granted, it isn't really a HUGE deal in the Jewish culture (it's been blown out of proportion thanks to the insanity that is now Christmas), but it is still a religious based celebration around the Solstice (although the Solstice is unrelated).
Okay, so the whole Pagan thing relates to the Roman Saturnalia, itself a Pagan holiday that involved partying and gift-giving, which was all around mid to late December. And there is also the Germanic/Norse celebration of Yule which was a 12 day party. And then there is the already well-documented pagan ties and origins of things like the "Christmas" tree, mistletoe, and other of the fun aspects that are now a part of Christmas. Why? Because when the Church really started their roaming evangelist movement of converting those awful pagans into Christians they found that many of the pagans responded with: "You have one boring ass religion. Why the fuck would we want to give up the fun we have?" So the Church people began creatively figuring out ways to show the pagans that the stuff they believed was actually just Jesus and Company IN DISGUISE! So it was all cool. And we'll keep the parties if that's what it takes to get your asses under our thumbs.
Yes, the fun aspects of Christmas were all taken from other religions and non-Jesus cultures. As was the date. See, there is no significant evidence that Jesus was born on or near December 25th. In fact, most research indicates he was born in August or September. But, with the realization that something was needed to subjugate the Solstice Festivals, and nobody really knew any better anyway, December 25th was decided upon almost 300 years after the actual event.
But it isn't just the largely European Pagan festivals that had influence. There was also Mithras. Mithras was this god that had Hindu and/or Zoroastrian ties dating back more than a thousand years before Jesus. Mithra was born to save mankind, born of a virgin, linked with "sun" allegories, and was resurrected after death. Oh, and did I mention that his birthday WAS DECEMBER 25th?!!?!?! Yeah, Mithras was also a factor in the birthday of Jesus decision.
It should also be mentioned that Zoroastrianism had some significant influence on the Judeo-Christian belief systems. But that's a whole other tale. This is all about Jesus not being the fucking reason for shit.
So, let's sum up: Actual seasonal changes made early people take notice and do things differently for Winter months. Several cultures had celebrations/festivals/holy observances in mid to late December. These typically existed before said culture new of the existence of Jesus. Some of them had deities that were similar to the Jesus as he is now portrayed.
Jesus is not the reason for the celebratory season around the Winter Solstice. Jesus' ball lickers hijacked the season in order to get people pay attention to Jesus instead of the other deities they had before said ball licking assholes showed up.
In conclusion, THIS IS A FESTIVE SEASON OF VARIOUS HOLIDAYS THAT EXISTED BEFORE JESUS AND WOULD MOST LIKELY STILL EXIST IN SOME FORM WHETHER LORD DOOFUS SHOWED UP OR NOT.
Jesus is NOT the "Reason for the Season" and I will shove a goddamned candy cane into the ear of any fucking asshole that says this in my presence.
And no, I didn't site my sources, but I did some cursory fucking research which is still way more research than the fucking tool that came up with "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" did.
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