At virtually any time, I have 1 or more people that I know who are suffering from some illness. These illnesses are at best, minor inconveniences and at worst, life threatening.
But that is probably pretty typical for most people.
And it sucks for the sick folks, obviously. Most of them are likely ill for no good reason other than just rotten luck. And even though I am often cold and dead on the inside when it comes to the suffering of adults, I do feel bad for them.
At least until I start seeing all of the religious bullshit.
"God is so awesome!"
"Praying for you!"
"Jesus heals!"
"Have faith... He will fix you!"
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
No, really. I'm not being dramatic. You need to shut the fuck up.
Now, being an atheist, I find this pleading to some invisible entity pretty silly. However, there is one thing that could be done that I might at least have an inkling of respect for all this nonsense: blame your fucking god when it doesn't work.
I see people get cancer, and they go through all of these medical procedures involving machines and drugs that didn't exist before humans made them. And then these machines and drugs are run and administered by humans who probably had to have a lot of training and education. Sorry, but God is not in this mix. So when/if the cancer goes away, I just want to slap the fuck out of these people that "Praise God!" for all the healing he did.
Plenty of studies have been done that strongly indicate prayer has no discernible effect on healing. Maybe it makes you feel better emotionally which might make you more receptive to all the things the humans are doing to heal your ass, but that still doesn't mean that your pleading causes a deity to fix you up.
Besides, if prayer DOES have an effect, that just causes more problems for the legitimacy of your religion because it means that God DOESN'T have a plan.
God either has a plan and knows what will happen, which means it doesn't matter what you do because the script is written, or God doesn't have a plan, which means God just hands out pain and good fortune all willy nilly to see what will happen next. Either way, he sounds like a real dick.
But at the end of the day, if you want to thank your invisible friend for help and put your faith in him for healing, remember to thank all of the doctors and nurses and any other person that helped you too. Otherwise, I'd very much like to get your sorry ass out of the hospital and stop using resources for which you aren't grateful.
Just go home and pray. I'd be willing to bet very few of you have the balls to rely on nothing but your super awesome god. How much faith in him do you really have?
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
"God caught her."
Did you hear about Makenzie Wethington, the 16 year old who survived a 3500 foot fall even though her parachute failed to open correctly? Well, she's apparently gonna be a-ok after a whole lot of rehab and has already started walking (short distances with help).
She apparently "hurt her liver, broke her pelvis, lumbar spine in her lower back, a shoulder blade and several ribs and a tooth."
Her older sister said, "God caught her."
Well, God, that was a pretty shitty "catch."
First of all, God could have done a myriad of other things that would have allowed the girl to land UNHARMED.
Even beyond that, I'm more interested as to why God would save the life of a teenager doing something that carries a certain amount of risk but didn't save a bunch of little kids at Sandy Hook. That's fucked up.
And don't give me any of the "not our place to know God's thinking" or "all part of God's plan" bullshit... if he takes the time to save a girl who is choosing to do something dangerous for fun but not lift a finger to save some children, whose only crime was GOING TO SCHOOL, he's an asshole. There is no morality there.
Fuck God.
She apparently "hurt her liver, broke her pelvis, lumbar spine in her lower back, a shoulder blade and several ribs and a tooth."
Her older sister said, "God caught her."
Well, God, that was a pretty shitty "catch."
First of all, God could have done a myriad of other things that would have allowed the girl to land UNHARMED.
Even beyond that, I'm more interested as to why God would save the life of a teenager doing something that carries a certain amount of risk but didn't save a bunch of little kids at Sandy Hook. That's fucked up.
And don't give me any of the "not our place to know God's thinking" or "all part of God's plan" bullshit... if he takes the time to save a girl who is choosing to do something dangerous for fun but not lift a finger to save some children, whose only crime was GOING TO SCHOOL, he's an asshole. There is no morality there.
Fuck God.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Pro-Lifers
If you are Pro-Life and vocal about it, then you should have at least one adopted child in your home. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.
Additionally, instead of protesting hospitals and clinics, why don't you assholes use that time and energy to go improve the life of one of these "precious children" that has been born but has a shitty life?
Besides, if a baby gets aborted, isn't that just part of God's Plan? Who are you to interfere?
Meanwhile, in a related topic, I've been meaning to post this asinine quote that most attribute to that bitch Mother Teresa:
"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers!"
There is so much stupid in that quote....
Additionally, instead of protesting hospitals and clinics, why don't you assholes use that time and energy to go improve the life of one of these "precious children" that has been born but has a shitty life?
Besides, if a baby gets aborted, isn't that just part of God's Plan? Who are you to interfere?
Meanwhile, in a related topic, I've been meaning to post this asinine quote that most attribute to that bitch Mother Teresa:
"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers!"
There is so much stupid in that quote....
Friday, January 24, 2014
Hey Fuckers! Elevator Manners!
Look you fucks... when waiting for the elevator, the people that are on the elevator have the right of way. So, DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE DOORS!
If I'm on the elevator and I get to my floor, you'd better not be blocking the doorway because I WILL run over your ass. Without apology. Because you are a dick.
If I'm on the elevator and I get to my floor, you'd better not be blocking the doorway because I WILL run over your ass. Without apology. Because you are a dick.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Tell me again why the "Ten Commandments" are such a good thing to post everywhere?
Not long ago, during a discussion about Satanists putting up a monument next to the Ten Commandments on some Oklahoma Courthouse lawn (these may not be the exact details, but I honestly don't much care to go look them up) and this guy tried to say that is there really anything wrong with the Ten Commandments, you know, those are pretty good rules to live by, right? Even if you aren't a "Christian"?
Hmmmmm.... have you ever really looked at those things? I mean, really read those things and thought about them? Hey, I know! Let's do that now!
The Ten Commandments*! (with commentary by Rob!)
*This is a general list. The fools that love this nonsense can't completely agree on the translations and numbering and between the two versions (Exodus & Deuteronomy) and hell, it isn't even clear that there are only 10 that make up this list. Basically, this list of "Ten Commandments" is about as confusing and stupid as most of the rest of the Bible. Also, I took the individual commandments as they are listed on Wikipedia, because in this case, Wikipedia does a damn fine job of summarizing these stupid things.
1. Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me
Means: All those other gods, you can't think they are cooler than the one that wrote this thing
Relevance to modern day America: Almost zero. Polytheism doesn't have much pull in the US and most of the Christians I know can't fathom that any other gods even exist. Sure, there are the Native Americans, but those guys... they don't know what they are talking about with their wigwams and peace pipes.
But seriously, this one has zero weight for anybody who isn't already a follower of Mosaic Law and has absolutely no application in secular society. Maybe if it was "no other Presidents before me," it might make some sense, but this is meaningless to day-to-day American government and society.
2. Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image
Means: Depends on who you talk to. Apparently it's what you can and can't do in regards to "art." Could be a ban on anything that looks like a living thing. Might just be images of God. Or things that God "made" and thus people trying to recreate them is an affront to the limited self-esteem of the jealous Almighty.
Relevance to modern day America: None. Absolutely fuck all. Christians completely ignore this one. Try and find a church in this country without pictures of Jesus or a "Hangin' Around Jesus" wall statue. Ironically, these fights over putting up Christian statues on public land are a direct violation of this commandment that the Christians so desperately want to post in every courtroom in the country. Yeah, basically "These laws are so important that we are going to break one of them just to make sure you know about how important they are!"
I always find it really weird when Christians mock the Muslims and that whole "No images of The Prophet" thing.
There really is no way to spin this one.
3. Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain
Means: Don't call out to GodJesus for silly reasons and don't throw his name around like it's a fucking #YOLO
Relevance to modern day America: None. It's fine if you want to show some respect to your deity by not using his name like an angry sitcom catchphrase, but in respect to how to maintain society and behave towards your neighbors, this is goddamn pointless.
4. Remember The Sabbath Day, To Keep It Holy
Means: God, despite being all-powerful and can create universes just by saying "Boo-yah", needed an entire day of rest and as such, you have to take a day off too.
Relevance to modern day America: It's a nice gesture. I mean, nobody should be forced to work 7 days a week. Everybody needs some time to kick back and watch TV. But that's because people just need a fucking break from time to time, not because some lazy ass creator insists on it. Of course, some people might actually LIKE not having a day of rest, so maybe Yahweh needs to just suck it up and not worry about what his creations are doing all the time.
Besides, the Sabbath that is referenced here? It's from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. That's not the Sabbath the Christians want to keep holy. Bastards just up and changed the rules, yo! Christians be like, "Naw man! Sunday is the Sabbath now! You weirdo messiah killing Jews need to get with the program. Pretty sure God sent down a memo. Maybe he only sent it to us since he hates you for killing him."
5. Honor Thy Father And Thy Mother
Means: Don't be a shit to your parents and do whatever they tell you.
Relevance to modern day America: Weaksauce. Now obviously, showing some respect to your parents SHOULD be a pretty simple concept. But like all people, sometimes they aren't deserving of respect. Like when they withhold medication from you because they are convinced that Jesus will save you from SARS if you pray hard enough.
But more importantly, it's not a foundation for the success of society. While it is very helpful to not have a country full of disrespectful children, it's not the end of the world if parents can't make their kids obey 100% of the time.
6. Thou Shalt Not Kill
Means: Do you really need this explained? I will, however, throw in that interpretation on translations can have a significant effect on the nuanced understanding of this one. "Thou Shalt Not Kill" vs "Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder" have a similar fundamental meaning regarding the taking of life, but "murder" has a far more explicit meaning than just simply "kill." If the talk is just of killing, then there is some serious hypocrisy in the way God just leads the Israelites around and has them slaughter thousands of people. Murder implies a more intimate and evil purpose than the more all-encompassing warlike act of killing.
I believe most translations come out as "murder", but arguments can and have been made and in fact, the Oklahoma statue uses "kill"
Relevance to modern day America: High. It took six swings, but there is finally a commandment worth paying attention to. Taking another person's life is, in any circumstance, a big deal. Now, depending upon those same circumstances, the death may or may not be justified and/or forgivable. Self-defense should obviously be considered an "acceptable" circumstance. An accidental death at the hands of another has a good chance of being forgivable. (See where "kill" vs "murder" becomes important?). And then there is the gray area of war. And capital punishment. And this is where the fucktards that are so adamant that the Ten Commandments are in fact an important cornerstone of United States law need to be really careful. Oklahoma's 10 says "kill." That doesn't really distinguish or allow for mitigating circumstances. If that's how they really want to play it, Oklahoma had better shut down the death chambers and become the biggest pacifist state in the country.
But fundamentally, the basic idea of not killing people is pretty sound. You can't have a functioning society if everyone has to constantly fear a realistic and probable scenario involving their demise at the hands of another. Not that I can really see that as a reality. MOST people have a certain basic sense of morality that tells them killing is probably bad because I don't want it to happen to me.
7. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery
Means: Typically, don't have sex with someone you aren't married to. There are several different ways of defining the details, but it really boils down to "If that ain't yer spouse, no sexy times."
Relevance to modern day America: Some. In the grand scheme of things, this is a commandment given from God to his people telling them to not do something that he essentially programmed them to do as a primary function of their existence. In retrospect, God is a dumbass.
Now, there ARE some damn fine reasons to try and limit sex to someone you want to be committed to because if a baby comes into the picture, that kid does have a better chance of not turning out to be a complete drain on society if the two idiots that made it get along with each other and can raise the child to feel like it has people that give a rat's ass about what happens to it.
That said, sex is generally pretty fun. I mean, ignoring all the awkwardness and weird sounds and sometimes gross smells and oozing things that leak out all over the place, sex is a damn fine way to pass the time. And, as I alluded to earlier, we (generally) have a pretty strong desire to have the sex because of that whole evolutionary biological DNA passing on procreation instinctual imperative. Yeah, we wants to do the dirty because our genes wanna make more shit. (This is a very unscientific version. Thou Shalt Not Quote This In A Term Paper).
Adultery, at a fundamental level, is absurd. Marriage is a man-made social contract while boinking is a biological imperative. There would be boinking without marriage, but there would be no marriage without boinking. And because marriage is a man-made concept, it has no real power if someone chooses to ignore it. If Dude meets Dudina and they want to make with the bouncy-bouncy and not get all formal about it, so the hell what? Who is that hurting?
Now if Dude meets Dudina but Dude is willingly married to Dudetta, there are likely some emotional implications for a Dude + Dudina tryst. But maybe not. Maybe Dudetta is only in it for the money. Maybe Dudetta wants to join in. Maybe Dudetta has some serious medical issues and while Dude is madly in love with her and would do anything for her, Dudetta knows that Dude needs to get his rocks off from time to time and told him to go ride Dudina for all she's worth. Are you confused yet? I am. Point is, we don't really need a rule about proper penis wielding etiquette being lofted high on our nation's "list of shit you really should do."
Now, that doesn't mean to say that we should encourage a widespread 1967 San Francisco. Ewwww.
We live in a day and age where we have the capability to have (mostly) safe sex. Disease and unwanted children are a drawback to sex and an argument for commandment 7. But, those arguments are made mostly by the people who want to prevent the use of the things we have invented to significantly aid in the decrease of those very same drawbacks. Basically, the Commandment supporters cling to archaic and absurd ideas about sex and how the human body functions and so #7, in their minds, is super important. To most people with a sex drive and a functioning brain, #7 is just puritanical tyranny.
Of course, adultery all to often leads to violating commandment #6, and for that reason, shouldn't be totally ignored.
8. Thou Shalt Not Steal
Means: Doesn't belong to you? Leave it the fuck alone.
Relevance to modern day America: High. This might be the simplest to understand and most straightforward of the ten. It, like #6, falls under the easy to comprehend morality of "I don't want it to happen to me, so..."
9. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor
Means: Don't lie. More specifically, it's a court thing that means it is bad to accuse your neighbor of things they didn't do. Related to perjury.
Relevance to modern day America: High. This one isn't quite as obvious as #s 6 & 8, but as a foundation for a working society, this one is up there. It should be pretty obvious why. It's a pretty shitty thing to do to walk in to court and say that Bob down the street stole your Duck Dynasty yard decorations and then shit on your porch when, in fact, Bob did none of those things (even if your other neighbors would regard Bob with great respect if he DID do those things because you sir, are a fucking asshole).
10. Thou Shalt Not Covet [Shit That Ain't Yours]
Means: Neighbor Bob down the road? Sweet house, hot wife, awesome... um... butler and housekeeper, and some high quality oxes and donkeys. Bob has awesome stuff. But YOU sure as shit better not even think about how great it would be if it was yours, comprende?
Relevance to modern day America: A nice idea, but completely unrealistic. It sure would be nice if we could keep our thoughts pure and clean and basically just think about nothing but pleasuring God all the time. Wait, I think that came out wrong.
Anyway, That's not gonna happen. Partly because without an internal drive to achieve a better standing for ourselves, we'd pretty much all just be sitting complacently in our own filth. The "problem" is that some people lack imagination and self-worth so they can't envision their own perfect life, and instead, they have to use somebody else as a template.
This is the commandment that helped bring about the asinine "lust in your heart" bullshit which basically means that if you think about boning that chick, you've ACTUALLY violated commandment #7. So, what is really going on here is that God has just decided to go ahead and establish the Thought Police and cite you for things that only happen in your head.
It's easy to see where the Commandment Bunch loves the idea of laying the groundwork for telling people they are bad for just thinking about something, although I'm gonna come right out and say that this is probably the stupidest of the ten.
Okay, so, let's do a quick recap.
Of the Ten Commandments:
#s 1-4 are basically just God being an egotistical dick
#s 5 & 7 are good suggestions to live by, but are by no means substantive enough to be thought of as anything binding or morally absolute
#s 6, 8, & 9 are the only ones in the list that have any practical application to managing society
#10 is stupid and borderline fascist.
There ya go. The next time somebody wants to try and claim that the 10 Commandments are one of, if not THE most important creations of all time, break it down to them like this. You'll probably need to use smaller words though.
Hmmmmm.... have you ever really looked at those things? I mean, really read those things and thought about them? Hey, I know! Let's do that now!
The Ten Commandments*! (with commentary by Rob!)
*This is a general list. The fools that love this nonsense can't completely agree on the translations and numbering and between the two versions (Exodus & Deuteronomy) and hell, it isn't even clear that there are only 10 that make up this list. Basically, this list of "Ten Commandments" is about as confusing and stupid as most of the rest of the Bible. Also, I took the individual commandments as they are listed on Wikipedia, because in this case, Wikipedia does a damn fine job of summarizing these stupid things.
1. Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me
Means: All those other gods, you can't think they are cooler than the one that wrote this thing
Relevance to modern day America: Almost zero. Polytheism doesn't have much pull in the US and most of the Christians I know can't fathom that any other gods even exist. Sure, there are the Native Americans, but those guys... they don't know what they are talking about with their wigwams and peace pipes.
But seriously, this one has zero weight for anybody who isn't already a follower of Mosaic Law and has absolutely no application in secular society. Maybe if it was "no other Presidents before me," it might make some sense, but this is meaningless to day-to-day American government and society.
2. Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image
Means: Depends on who you talk to. Apparently it's what you can and can't do in regards to "art." Could be a ban on anything that looks like a living thing. Might just be images of God. Or things that God "made" and thus people trying to recreate them is an affront to the limited self-esteem of the jealous Almighty.
Relevance to modern day America: None. Absolutely fuck all. Christians completely ignore this one. Try and find a church in this country without pictures of Jesus or a "Hangin' Around Jesus" wall statue. Ironically, these fights over putting up Christian statues on public land are a direct violation of this commandment that the Christians so desperately want to post in every courtroom in the country. Yeah, basically "These laws are so important that we are going to break one of them just to make sure you know about how important they are!"
I always find it really weird when Christians mock the Muslims and that whole "No images of The Prophet" thing.
There really is no way to spin this one.
3. Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain
Means: Don't call out to GodJesus for silly reasons and don't throw his name around like it's a fucking #YOLO
Relevance to modern day America: None. It's fine if you want to show some respect to your deity by not using his name like an angry sitcom catchphrase, but in respect to how to maintain society and behave towards your neighbors, this is goddamn pointless.
4. Remember The Sabbath Day, To Keep It Holy
Means: God, despite being all-powerful and can create universes just by saying "Boo-yah", needed an entire day of rest and as such, you have to take a day off too.
Relevance to modern day America: It's a nice gesture. I mean, nobody should be forced to work 7 days a week. Everybody needs some time to kick back and watch TV. But that's because people just need a fucking break from time to time, not because some lazy ass creator insists on it. Of course, some people might actually LIKE not having a day of rest, so maybe Yahweh needs to just suck it up and not worry about what his creations are doing all the time.
Besides, the Sabbath that is referenced here? It's from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. That's not the Sabbath the Christians want to keep holy. Bastards just up and changed the rules, yo! Christians be like, "Naw man! Sunday is the Sabbath now! You weirdo messiah killing Jews need to get with the program. Pretty sure God sent down a memo. Maybe he only sent it to us since he hates you for killing him."
5. Honor Thy Father And Thy Mother
Means: Don't be a shit to your parents and do whatever they tell you.
Relevance to modern day America: Weaksauce. Now obviously, showing some respect to your parents SHOULD be a pretty simple concept. But like all people, sometimes they aren't deserving of respect. Like when they withhold medication from you because they are convinced that Jesus will save you from SARS if you pray hard enough.
But more importantly, it's not a foundation for the success of society. While it is very helpful to not have a country full of disrespectful children, it's not the end of the world if parents can't make their kids obey 100% of the time.
6. Thou Shalt Not Kill
Means: Do you really need this explained? I will, however, throw in that interpretation on translations can have a significant effect on the nuanced understanding of this one. "Thou Shalt Not Kill" vs "Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder" have a similar fundamental meaning regarding the taking of life, but "murder" has a far more explicit meaning than just simply "kill." If the talk is just of killing, then there is some serious hypocrisy in the way God just leads the Israelites around and has them slaughter thousands of people. Murder implies a more intimate and evil purpose than the more all-encompassing warlike act of killing.
I believe most translations come out as "murder", but arguments can and have been made and in fact, the Oklahoma statue uses "kill"
Relevance to modern day America: High. It took six swings, but there is finally a commandment worth paying attention to. Taking another person's life is, in any circumstance, a big deal. Now, depending upon those same circumstances, the death may or may not be justified and/or forgivable. Self-defense should obviously be considered an "acceptable" circumstance. An accidental death at the hands of another has a good chance of being forgivable. (See where "kill" vs "murder" becomes important?). And then there is the gray area of war. And capital punishment. And this is where the fucktards that are so adamant that the Ten Commandments are in fact an important cornerstone of United States law need to be really careful. Oklahoma's 10 says "kill." That doesn't really distinguish or allow for mitigating circumstances. If that's how they really want to play it, Oklahoma had better shut down the death chambers and become the biggest pacifist state in the country.
But fundamentally, the basic idea of not killing people is pretty sound. You can't have a functioning society if everyone has to constantly fear a realistic and probable scenario involving their demise at the hands of another. Not that I can really see that as a reality. MOST people have a certain basic sense of morality that tells them killing is probably bad because I don't want it to happen to me.
7. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery
Means: Typically, don't have sex with someone you aren't married to. There are several different ways of defining the details, but it really boils down to "If that ain't yer spouse, no sexy times."
Relevance to modern day America: Some. In the grand scheme of things, this is a commandment given from God to his people telling them to not do something that he essentially programmed them to do as a primary function of their existence. In retrospect, God is a dumbass.
Now, there ARE some damn fine reasons to try and limit sex to someone you want to be committed to because if a baby comes into the picture, that kid does have a better chance of not turning out to be a complete drain on society if the two idiots that made it get along with each other and can raise the child to feel like it has people that give a rat's ass about what happens to it.
That said, sex is generally pretty fun. I mean, ignoring all the awkwardness and weird sounds and sometimes gross smells and oozing things that leak out all over the place, sex is a damn fine way to pass the time. And, as I alluded to earlier, we (generally) have a pretty strong desire to have the sex because of that whole evolutionary biological DNA passing on procreation instinctual imperative. Yeah, we wants to do the dirty because our genes wanna make more shit. (This is a very unscientific version. Thou Shalt Not Quote This In A Term Paper).
Adultery, at a fundamental level, is absurd. Marriage is a man-made social contract while boinking is a biological imperative. There would be boinking without marriage, but there would be no marriage without boinking. And because marriage is a man-made concept, it has no real power if someone chooses to ignore it. If Dude meets Dudina and they want to make with the bouncy-bouncy and not get all formal about it, so the hell what? Who is that hurting?
Now if Dude meets Dudina but Dude is willingly married to Dudetta, there are likely some emotional implications for a Dude + Dudina tryst. But maybe not. Maybe Dudetta is only in it for the money. Maybe Dudetta wants to join in. Maybe Dudetta has some serious medical issues and while Dude is madly in love with her and would do anything for her, Dudetta knows that Dude needs to get his rocks off from time to time and told him to go ride Dudina for all she's worth. Are you confused yet? I am. Point is, we don't really need a rule about proper penis wielding etiquette being lofted high on our nation's "list of shit you really should do."
Now, that doesn't mean to say that we should encourage a widespread 1967 San Francisco. Ewwww.
We live in a day and age where we have the capability to have (mostly) safe sex. Disease and unwanted children are a drawback to sex and an argument for commandment 7. But, those arguments are made mostly by the people who want to prevent the use of the things we have invented to significantly aid in the decrease of those very same drawbacks. Basically, the Commandment supporters cling to archaic and absurd ideas about sex and how the human body functions and so #7, in their minds, is super important. To most people with a sex drive and a functioning brain, #7 is just puritanical tyranny.
Of course, adultery all to often leads to violating commandment #6, and for that reason, shouldn't be totally ignored.
8. Thou Shalt Not Steal
Means: Doesn't belong to you? Leave it the fuck alone.
Relevance to modern day America: High. This might be the simplest to understand and most straightforward of the ten. It, like #6, falls under the easy to comprehend morality of "I don't want it to happen to me, so..."
9. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor
Means: Don't lie. More specifically, it's a court thing that means it is bad to accuse your neighbor of things they didn't do. Related to perjury.
Relevance to modern day America: High. This one isn't quite as obvious as #s 6 & 8, but as a foundation for a working society, this one is up there. It should be pretty obvious why. It's a pretty shitty thing to do to walk in to court and say that Bob down the street stole your Duck Dynasty yard decorations and then shit on your porch when, in fact, Bob did none of those things (even if your other neighbors would regard Bob with great respect if he DID do those things because you sir, are a fucking asshole).
10. Thou Shalt Not Covet [Shit That Ain't Yours]
Means: Neighbor Bob down the road? Sweet house, hot wife, awesome... um... butler and housekeeper, and some high quality oxes and donkeys. Bob has awesome stuff. But YOU sure as shit better not even think about how great it would be if it was yours, comprende?
Relevance to modern day America: A nice idea, but completely unrealistic. It sure would be nice if we could keep our thoughts pure and clean and basically just think about nothing but pleasuring God all the time. Wait, I think that came out wrong.
Anyway, That's not gonna happen. Partly because without an internal drive to achieve a better standing for ourselves, we'd pretty much all just be sitting complacently in our own filth. The "problem" is that some people lack imagination and self-worth so they can't envision their own perfect life, and instead, they have to use somebody else as a template.
This is the commandment that helped bring about the asinine "lust in your heart" bullshit which basically means that if you think about boning that chick, you've ACTUALLY violated commandment #7. So, what is really going on here is that God has just decided to go ahead and establish the Thought Police and cite you for things that only happen in your head.
It's easy to see where the Commandment Bunch loves the idea of laying the groundwork for telling people they are bad for just thinking about something, although I'm gonna come right out and say that this is probably the stupidest of the ten.
Okay, so, let's do a quick recap.
Of the Ten Commandments:
#s 1-4 are basically just God being an egotistical dick
#s 5 & 7 are good suggestions to live by, but are by no means substantive enough to be thought of as anything binding or morally absolute
#s 6, 8, & 9 are the only ones in the list that have any practical application to managing society
#10 is stupid and borderline fascist.
There ya go. The next time somebody wants to try and claim that the 10 Commandments are one of, if not THE most important creations of all time, break it down to them like this. You'll probably need to use smaller words though.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Costco Makes Me Racist
I really like Costco. I can buy all sorts of shit there and often it is a bargain. Other times, it's a deceptive punch in the face that tricks in me into buying way to much of something that I'll end up throwing away, but whatever.
But whenever I go to Costco, I inevitably want to start yelling things at and about various groups of people. Why? Because I see similar behavior from similar types of people. Now, I should really just be fair and say that it seems to be more of a "Costco Type" and not break it down into racial bullshit, but guess what, everybody has racist thoughts. I don't care how super-awesome-open-minded-liberal-progressive-all-people-are-great you think you are, you DO have racist thoughts. Because that's how we are. We, as humans, label and categorize everything.... including other humans.
That guy over there has slanty eyes, so he goes in the slanty eyed people category
That lady has dark skin... dark skinned people category
That dude smells like sweat and olive oil... probably Italian.
Look, there is nothing inherently wrong with this. Its natural. As a species, we evolved with a survival instinct to be at least a little bit wary of anything not like us. Not like us = maybe has completely different goals than us which could cause problems for our survival goals.
The problem is when you let those thoughts become mantra and then become actions and words that have no basis in logic or rationality, but rather some primal sense of fear and distrust built upon a foundation of not a goddamn thing.
But anyway, I'm off topic.
Look [Asians], I realize Costco is fucking awe inspiring with it's pallet shelving towers and 8 foot tall piles of khackis. But for fuck sake, you aren't the only ones walking down the aisles so when you suddenly stop or just walk in front of me with no warning, you might get hit. Have some fucking common courtesy and be aware of other human beings!
[Black ladies] on phones! Do it somewhere other than the middle of the aisle so other people can get by!
[Old People of all races and genders]! What the fuck is wrong with you!?!??!
Strictly speaking, you can pretty much just substitute any race, age, or gender into each bracket and it will still work, because there is a strange energy in Costco that turns otherwise normal, observant people (well, maybe... based on what I see in other stores, I think a large percent of the population are just assholes everywhere) into oblivious pricks. My problem is that my brain is strongly motivated to categorize and organize things and so it just starts picking up on any little similar detail.
But whenever I go to Costco, I inevitably want to start yelling things at and about various groups of people. Why? Because I see similar behavior from similar types of people. Now, I should really just be fair and say that it seems to be more of a "Costco Type" and not break it down into racial bullshit, but guess what, everybody has racist thoughts. I don't care how super-awesome-open-minded-liberal-progressive-all-people-are-great you think you are, you DO have racist thoughts. Because that's how we are. We, as humans, label and categorize everything.... including other humans.
That guy over there has slanty eyes, so he goes in the slanty eyed people category
That lady has dark skin... dark skinned people category
That dude smells like sweat and olive oil... probably Italian.
Look, there is nothing inherently wrong with this. Its natural. As a species, we evolved with a survival instinct to be at least a little bit wary of anything not like us. Not like us = maybe has completely different goals than us which could cause problems for our survival goals.
The problem is when you let those thoughts become mantra and then become actions and words that have no basis in logic or rationality, but rather some primal sense of fear and distrust built upon a foundation of not a goddamn thing.
But anyway, I'm off topic.
Look [Asians], I realize Costco is fucking awe inspiring with it's pallet shelving towers and 8 foot tall piles of khackis. But for fuck sake, you aren't the only ones walking down the aisles so when you suddenly stop or just walk in front of me with no warning, you might get hit. Have some fucking common courtesy and be aware of other human beings!
[Black ladies] on phones! Do it somewhere other than the middle of the aisle so other people can get by!
[Old People of all races and genders]! What the fuck is wrong with you!?!??!
Strictly speaking, you can pretty much just substitute any race, age, or gender into each bracket and it will still work, because there is a strange energy in Costco that turns otherwise normal, observant people (well, maybe... based on what I see in other stores, I think a large percent of the population are just assholes everywhere) into oblivious pricks. My problem is that my brain is strongly motivated to categorize and organize things and so it just starts picking up on any little similar detail.
Monday, January 6, 2014
The greatest True Blood storyline ever!
Yeah, so, I think it would be cool if Jesus showed up on True Blood... as a vampire! The story could be that Jesus was just some guy who got all into vamp culture and actually had access to the Vampyre Bible. Instead of actually dying on the cross, he gets turned and then that whole 3 days tomb thing (which really isn't three days if he went in late Friday afternoon and was out of it by Sunday morning... that's not even 48 hours) was just him completing the turn. And then he did some crazy stuff for his disciples and rose into the sky but really, he just started being a vampire and had super powers.
Of course, people got the story all wrong and nobody understood what he was really doing or talking about.
So, like Jesus could show up and then try and start his own Apocalypse which involves a whole lot of feeding on humans.
Might flesh this out more later... could make a good vampire story regardless of the True Blood universe.
Of course, people got the story all wrong and nobody understood what he was really doing or talking about.
So, like Jesus could show up and then try and start his own Apocalypse which involves a whole lot of feeding on humans.
Might flesh this out more later... could make a good vampire story regardless of the True Blood universe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)